Just a Thought..

On 20th February, my parents completed 23 years of marriage. Looking at them together after all these years still very much in love, I am awed. So, It got me thinking, about love and relationships. I guess, we all understand Conditional love. However, we sometimes reach a point in life when the idea of selflessness doesn't seem strange to us. It was initially about giving and taking. Now it's about giving from from both sides and you unknowingly receive your share. That's what amazes us that love is unconditional, yet selfless. Just the conditions change positions from You to your Other and henceforth lead to You. When I look at my parents, I know that the 'Unconditional Love' is in the air!
God Bless them both. :)

Procrastination !

I am sure, the title of the post will find a few takers! Don't you just always reach a point in life where you feel you've missed out on so much just because you were too lazy? Somehow, I think about it everyday. I would like to believe that I'm an organized person, but I am definitely a chronic procrastinator.  I just keep putting off things. I make deadlines and never stick to them, and so much so, that it reaches a point when I just stop trusting myself. For example, I know I won't ever wake up at 6 am, yet I will religiously set the alarm and snooze it very morning. It's just become so instinctive.


Infact, I've just realized that  I have the innate ability of wasting time doing nothing. I can sit for hours on end thinking about things, or thinking about thinking about things! And ofcourse, so much time I waste just staring at my facebook homepage or waiting for a new email.


Recently, I faced the brunt for for my laziness. Out of habit, I postponed the a few important submissions at  college. So my infamous HOD(who btw breathes down my throat almost everyday!) took my case! All the procrastinators out there, I am sure you understand my plight! Right below is an extract from an Ogden Nash 
poem, for people like me! Which obviously is one of my favorite poems! Happy Reading! :)


'Procrastination is All of the Time'

Torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth.
Sloth and torp, slothor and torp
The directest of bee-line ambitions can warp.
He who is slothic, he who is troporal,
Will not be promoted to sergeant or corporal.
No torporer drowsy, no comatose slother
Will make a good banker, not even an author.
Torpor I deprecate, sloth I deplore,
Torpor is tedious, sloth a bore.
Sloth is a bore, torpor is tedious,
Fifty parts comatose, fifty tragedious.
How drear, on a planet redundant with woes,
That sloth is not slumber, nor torpor repose.
That the innocent joy of not getting things done
Simmers sulkily down to plain not having fun.
You smile in the morn like a bride in her bridalness
At the thought of a day of nothing but idleness.
By midday you're slipping, by evening a lunatic,
A perusing-the-newspapers-all-afternoonatic,
Worn to a wraith from the half-hourly jount
After glasses of water you didn't want,
And at last when onto your pallet you creep,
You discover yourself too tired to sleep.

O torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth,
Torpor is harrowing, sloth it is irksome-
Everyone ready? Let's go out and worksome.

Mixed Bag of Emotions!

I'm faced with a strange Interlude. These days, I'm happy/assured/sad/nervous/cheerful. It's just the time. Maybe just the situation. Life is tough. I had always waited for such decisive days. Now that they're here, it's overwhelming. I think I stress too much. Or maybe too little. Maybe I should take a break. Or work even more. Smile too much or smile too little. Keep quiet and suffer silently or let my life be an open book. I need to plan. Or stop planning and actually start working. I need to cry. To smile. To accept things the way they are and make the best of it instead of always assuming the worst. I know my time will come. Or be so damn competitive that no one else stands a chance. Killer edge or
Miss Congeniality? I get hurt too much and talk about it too little. Maybe it's the other way round. I should really catch up with all my friends. Be honest with my family. Realistically plan my life. Be more communicative and expressive. Stop complaining about being tired. It's okay to defer some plans for a year. It's okay to let go, to let others be happy, to accept the most deserving or assiduous might not always be the recipient. It's okay coz I truly believe in Karma. Maybe, I should stop being so idealistic and be ruthless for once. Or maybe, the way I am is just fine considering I've been like this till now, and it's helped me till now. The only thing hurts is to let my parents down. I know they believe in me. All parents do. They look at their child with rose tinted glasses. Or maybe, they always know and just create an illusion to boost the child. I should study. Work. Read. Become Intelligent. Shop. Fall in love. Maybe this post is too personal to share. Maybe, I shouldn't let it be a draft. I guess it's time to be Extraordinary. Selfish. Hardworking. Independent. Emotionally Strong. Loving. Stable. Wise. Need to figure it out, all too soon.

Optimism! :)

Life is a funny complication. We all see our ups and downs, go through strifling trials and tribulations. But at the end, life moves on. It never stops. Recently, I've been through alot as far as my career is concerned. But the only thing thing that has got me through, this so-called down-face of my life, is my Optimism!


According to me, every single day is is a Jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes things fit in well. Sometimes they don't. And the other times we try to somehow fit a block in the wrong place, coz it seems right to us. That's when I look up to confirm my move and get back a reply, "that's a nice cheat!".  But eventually, even a messed up puzzle seems complete to me and I move on to the next day!


I believe, each one of us is destined for greatness. All we need to do is realize our potential. And persevere is to achieve our goal. And failure, rejection, etc, are all part of the bargain. The important thing is not to give up. Not to let the fear of failure tie you down. Coz the moment you accept your defeat, is the moment you've failed yourself.


Sometimes dejected, we look up in the sky for the Almighty, to give us a spotlight to help us reach our goal. We get a harsh response. The sun does nothing, but burn us. We look down on Earth, disappointed and disoriented. We think our story is over. It hasn't though. Coz, we never realize that we couldn't see any spotlight because it was on Us. That is where our power lies. Never ever forget that!


So cherish life's moments, accept defeat, but have the power to move on. Don't be depressed. Extract the lessons learnt, and be positive and stay optimistic!
Keep smiling! :)


 


Oh, and I also wrote a few lines to cheer me on! Coz, there is no point in being sad and gloomy..there is always gonna come your day! :)


" Why should I, in my depressing memories float;
   when I can in my awesome memories gloat!


  Why shouldn't I lookon the bright side of things?
  Depression ties you down, happiness gives you wings!


  Life is too short to be left frowning;
  Life is too short  to be left in your sorrows drowning;


  I still don't know whether my thought process is correct or defective;
  All I know is that, it is goddamn effective!


  Because, Why should I, in my depressing memories float;
  When I can, in my awesome memories, gloat! "


Take care. :)

A Realization!

This started with an innocent conversation with a friend over dinner. He pointed out, how I always wish to know the reason, the logic behind everything. As used to by habit, my first instant was to deny the claim and argued at length that it ain't true. Both stubborn as we are, did not yield.


Then after a few days, the same thing happened. I was with a group of friends.. discussing mundane stuff like college fest, admissions, blah.. And I started out with my own theory( I have theories of just about everything in life. But more on that in my subsequent posts! ). A friend of mine, in an irritated tone asked me to come to the point!


And then, it just hit me. There was no Point! I believe, one of the most basic reason we humans are put on this earth is to interact and communicate effectively. But at the end of the day, 90% or more of our talks are just absolute gibberish. It's done to avoid boredom. And that works in all other situations too. Hence there doesn't necassarily need to be a point or reason as to why someone says something or does something, nor a fixed objective, that needs to be achieved in doing anything. Be it a clicked photograph , or just some random stuff you wrote, or the 'hidden' meaning behind a song etc. So I realized, rather late to my dismay, but nonetheless, at important realization: That pointless is what life is suppose to stay! It just makes the journey all the more enjoyable when you stop worrying about the pointed logic!


Hence, I wrote this poem to elucidate it further. And a sincere thank you to my friend for inspiring this!


                         What's the Point?!

"Come on, Tanvi! Just come to the point!

”It’s a phrase almost everyone says to me everyday,

People think I pay this no attention,

But probably, Pointless, is the way life is supposed to stay!

An elongated joke, a description of events, an interesting poem,

Nobody appreciates the work of a riddler nowadays.

Impatient lives, strutting about, all messed up in their heads,

Pointless, is the way life is supposed to stay!

Life is like a badly damaged pencil,

Keep on sharpening it; all night all day.

You’ll never get “the point”, you’ll just run out of wood to shave,

Pointless, is the way life(excluding pencils) is supposed to stay!

Don’t question another man’s thinking on the basis of pointlessness,

Perhaps, he doesn’t have one, & even if he does, you wouldn’t get it anyway.

Everyday lived, is reason enough to celebrate,

Pointless, is the way life is supposed to stay!

You probably don’t get this poem

And what the “other-two-lines” in each of the other stanzas say,

But all I want to propogate through these words of incision is,

Pointless, is the way life is supposed to stay!

The Title

Delusions of Grandeur : According to Google, it means an extreme form of Narcissism. In lay-man terms, somebody with an extreme superiority complex. It usually has a negative connotation associated with it. Well I beg to differ!


For quite sometime, this has been my favorite expression. I use it quite often, mostly in sarcastic terms! You know when people boast, and I quote, "I am Awesome! ", these smartasses suffer from Delusions of grandeur! According to me, if you are truly Awesome, it'll show. You don't really have to blow your own trumpet! Hence, the sarcasm!


But honestly, I chose this title coz according to me it's something everyone of us either has or in-case doesn't.. should inculcate. I mean, let's get back to the meaning it self:  Narcissism, or self-love. What is wrong with that! Isn't it the most important thing to survive, that we must first love ourselves. And then think about others! And no, it's not being selfish. If you want anything in life, you must first believe in yourself, think yourself worthy of your achievements..in short love yourself! Only then can you truly get anything in life. Simple! :)


I am a self-confessed-narcissist! To the point of staring myself in the mirror way too much, always ready to be clicked, sharp-shooting any punk who thinks I ain't good enough!  I know myself in and out and love everything about me. I believe in myself and I know I'll do great! And I have no shame in admitting that. Period.


So I am a classic example of someone with Delusions-of-Grandeur! ;)


Take care.
Tanvi